Living in Each Moment

It’s only been a week since my sweet precious baby turned one and I’ve teared up more times in this past week than the weeks post-partum. Planning Ryder’s birthday party was so much fun and the perfect distraction to keep me from balling for weeks leading up to the big day. The fact is, in just the blink of an eye, my baby boy is already one! A toddler!!

It feels like just yesterday I brought Ryder home. Where did the time go? I can’t help myself from thinking that 1/18th of our time together before he goes off to college is already behind us. Haha!

Seriously though, how many “last times” did I go through without even realizing it? The last time I breastfed? The last time I pumped? (Gah! Just thinking about pumping and I can hear the sound of the pump in my mind. Not my favorite memory!) The last time I wore him while unloading the dishwasher? The last time I had to help him roll over? Or place my hand behind him as he sits in case he falls backward? The last time I helped him to stand?

It’s so much fun watching Ryder grow and become more independent, but I wish someone had warned me that along with many firsts, there would be many lasts and to cherish each moment, as best as I can. Reflecting on those treasured moments make me smile and also make me cry, because my baby is growing up far too fast.

So as I rock my baby to sleep tonight (I’m guilty of still doing this every night – with a bottle – yikes) I will hold him tighter, close my eyes and make a memory of every special moment with my baby (toddler) boy, for one day he will be too big to be mommies baby.

Cue the tears.


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My first skin to skin snuggle with my baby.

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